Kevin B Ebert
Can Fear Defeat You?
About this #MyDay Post
Today’s post is from a text message my wife sent me today. I found it so profound, I had to share it. What fear controls you? I had a therapist once tell me that there is only one true fear. He asserted that the only one true fear is that of loss. That’s to say, what drives all fear is the feeling that you will loose something. What’s interesting, when I ever a feel fearful, I put this idea to a litmus test and so far, it has held true.
For example, last week I had to present for about 5 minutes in a town hall. For a brief moment, I was fearful of the idea of having stand up in front of a group of people and on a camera. So, what would I loose? Well, I felt that I stood to loose the respect of my peers who were also presenting because my content or presentation skills would not be at the same level of theirs. I felt I stood to loose friends because normally when I speak in front of groups, I stutter, stammer, shift around a lot, and come across as being insecure. Once I identified what I felt I stood to loose, I then looked back on my past experiences of speaking and realized, that my fear of loss of respect and friends never materialized. I maintained the respect of my peers and I kept my friends.
With that said, I think you can appreciate the profound words from my wife. Fear indeed only beats you if you allow the fear to control you. Fear is heavily rooted in your feelings. Fear, if not managed, will always turn into something larger than it actually is and depending on how you react, you may actually be loosing out by letting the fear control you. Finally, given what fear is, it really is a waste of time.